Dawn of the Vie by Laura Diamond – Launch and Giveaway

Dawn of the Vie by Laura DiamondSince their Arrival less than 30 years ago, immortal Vie rule the planet like the super-predators they are. Enslaved humans are their servants…their entertainment…and their food. Anemies—humans with various types of anemia—are simply exterminated. Their nutritionally deficient blood is useless to the Vie.

Or so it’s thought…

Alex, an Elite Vie, is a bit of a Renaissance Alien. Part scientist, part Raid Specialist, part drug addict, he knows Anemie blood is valuable. Rather than blindly carrying out his boss’s kill order, he convinces some colleagues to spare a few Anemies, not only for study, but also to reserve a secret stock.

The more Anemie blood Alex drinks, the more he slips into delusion, and the more his double life threatens to crumble. But quitting Anemie blood is not an option. Every Anemie has their own personal flavor. Each gives a unique high.

When Alex takes a hit of Justin’s blood, his hallucinations bleed into reality…


Anemie Justin knows his little sister, Sammie, and he are living past their expiration dates. It becomes a guarantee when they’re bitten by a Vie named Alex during a raid. (The bite is fatal, thanks to a toxin carried in Vie saliva.) Alex adds insult to injury by promising Justin a second chance—an antidote in exchange for agreeing to be a lab rat.

And a mule…of his own blood.

When Justin says no, Alex takes off with Sammie.

All Justin has to do is find them, beat Alex, and cure himself and Sammie. All he has is a stake and serious lack of self-preservation.

No problem.


Alex wants Justin’s blood.

Justin wants his sister back.


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Laura Diamond - author
Laura Diamond is a board certified psychiatrist currently specializing in emergency psychiatry. She is also an author of all things young adult—both contemporary and paranormal. An avid fan of sci-fi, fantasy, and anything magical, she thrives on quirk, her lucid dreams, and coffee. When she’s not working or writing, she can be found sniffing books and drinking a latte at the bookstore or at home pondering renovations on her 225 year old fixer upper, all while obeying her feline overlords, of course.
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Point of view and tense – first person and third person

Incorrect use of point of view and tense are commonly picked up by fiction writers and editors. Part of the confusion is that both point of view and tense are in many ways linked: first person with present tense and third person with past/past perfect tense. Untangling these concepts so that they can be understood by the writer or editor is the first step before careful implementation.

When point-of-view slips occur unintentionally, they momentarily confuse readers and can look out of place. These slips appear more often with inexperienced writers, but while working even experienced writers can occasionally forget who viewpoint character is supposed to be in a given paragraph or sentence and exactly what he/she should be thinking and experiencing. In other words, it can slip your mind.

Inconsistent use of tense can make the viewpoint character’s understanding of what happened when unclear, such as how this understanding of past events has developed, or is developing, into present circumstances.

I will cover the main types of point of view and the tense each is in, as well as how tenses are used in fiction prose. I shall focus on first-person and third-person point of view, how they are used and some of the important advantages and disadvantages. It should also help you decide whether you are using the correct point of view for your story.

Third-person POV


Third person is written in the simple past and past perfect tense.


Modern fiction recommends one character’s point of view per scene, and usually in the third person (he, him, his, she, her, hers, they, them, theirs).

The third person is used to convey the main characters’ experiences, as if they are the narrators of the story and are reporting what has already just happened in the form of thoughts and relevant experiences.

Something to keep in mind when writing in third person is not to write anything else except the viewpoint character’s thoughts and experiences, so that the reader can only perceive events from the character’s perspective. Unless you’re using third-person omniscient, it could be a mistake to add other information about your story in between the character’s perspective to satisfy the reader’s curiosity, for doing so may take the mystery away from the scene and will interrupt the flow of the viewpoint character. And most of all, the inconsistency will be noticeable.


Third person is written in anticipation of building up towards present events, which are usually written in first person in the form of dialogue or internal dialogue (protagonist thoughts). First person is also used for italicised text in fiction, such as in the case of internal dialogue.


One of the advantages of the third-person point of view is the flexibility to switch between tenses: simple past, past perfect, and simple present. The writer has the freedom to express a wide range of closely related circumstances that had occurred, have just occurred, or are occurring; and yet are written in the same scene or chapter. It takes skill for even experienced writers to master the tenses in such a way that is both correct and can relate a story’s events in an interesting way.

The disadvantages of the past perfect tense in third person

The past perfect tense can sometimes, when used excessively, become a platform for exposition and reader bombardment, which all writers should strive to avoid where they can. This tense can be rigid to read: ‘I had done’, ‘but when he had gone to the store’, ‘before he had thought about heading out he forgot to spend his money’. If you have to digress into background events, try to keep them at a minimum or at least directly relevant to what is happening in any given scene.

In this sense, try to limit the number of passages you write in the past perfect tense, or don’t use too many ‘hads’, which may hinder the reader’s enjoyment of the story. Instead, once you have introduced the tense with ‘had’, in a given paragraph, you are free to continue writing in the simple past and the reader should still understand what is meant. The same goes for background events that occur while the writer is already relating background events. As long as you introduce the tense with a single or a few ‘had’s’ to relate the most important immediate events in the first few sentences, then the reader has been informed of the tense and knows that what they are reading occurred in a time earlier than the time currently being discussed. It requires a bit of skill, judgment, and practice to use effectively, but that’s what writing is!

First-person POV


In contrast, the first person tense (I, we,) is commonly told in the simple present tense in fiction.


Of course, the reader, as with third-person point of view, can only know what the viewpoint character knows – no extraneous background information should be added if the character wouldn’t already be thinking or experiencing it. It can help a writer think in terms of ‘showing’ the reader the story rather than ‘telling’. ‘Showing’ often makes it easier for the reader to invest themselves in the characters and events, while too much ‘telling’ can instead render readers as idle observers or magnets for excess information.


It can grant a situation direct immediacy, and can be quite engaging and exciting to read. If the reader can develop a connection with the character or with intriguing events, it can prove to be effortless to absorb. If there are a lot of exciting events that are closely related to a single character or between one or two characters, then first person can deliver the message of the story concisely and directly, focusing only on the perspective of the character/s who matter, where lives come into contact. It’s good for putting the reader into the character’s shoes, and makes them feel as if they are there, watching events unfold.


One of its disadvantages, in my opinion, is that it can be quite simple and one-dimensional. Readers can’t penetrate to the depths of a character’s thoughts or to past events with ease without breaking from the main narrative. When the author does break from the main narrative, it can often at first seem as if they are interrupting a perfectly absorbing scene with unnecessary information, which can be distracting. It can express a limited range of meanings, and only in the context of what is happening or what a character is thinking at any given time. It’s my belief that the restrictions of first person make stories linear A–B plots, but I’m sure there are many writers and readers who disagree.

Basic Story Formatting

Before publishing, hiring a professional copy editor or proofreader, or submitting to a literary agent or publisher, it is expected that basic story formatting conventions are implemented to help with ease of reading. Below I will outline the basic structure of a story, how to indent your paragraphs, how to start a new paragraph in a conversation, and how to use scene breaks to separate time, point of view, and events.

In theory, you can format your story any way you like regarding how you present your sentences, paragraphs, and scenes. It is your story after all. However, if you are planning on hiring a professional editor, publishing your story, or submitting it to agents then you will need to make sure your story conforms to standard formatting conventions.

What may be obvious to professionals familiar with book layout or the parts of a published book is not always easily apparent to some fiction writers, readers, or those unacquainted with the standard format of a book/ebook. When concentrating on your story, characters, and plot; which are where you should be concentrating as a writer; it’s easy to lose track of the required standard formatting. If these conventions are not adhered to then they may appear to be jarringly unfamiliar to readers, who are used to reading standard formats, and this may put them off reading your writing because the presentation may look unusual or unprofessional. As far as you’re concerned, as the writer you’ve done your job and in your own way you’re right, but when your story is complete it may be time to think of how your story will be received.

Not including preliminary matter or end matter (at the front or end of a story respectively), this is how your story should be arranged from the whole story down to its constituent elements:

1. Story
2. Sections
3. Chapters
4. Scenes
5. Paragraphs
6. Sentences

1. Paragraph: first-line indents

An indent is an unobtrusive short space typically positioned to the left of the first word of the first sentence, in a new paragraph within the same scene or chapter. The size of this short space will be determined by the designer or increasingly an e/book formatter that will either adhere to a typographic specification or simply implement best practice. It is standard in fiction to have first-line indents placed at the onset of each new paragraph but not the first paragraph of a chapter or scene, which should be set full-out to the left-hand margin with no paragraph indentation.

The indentation at the start of a new paragraph makes it easy for readers to distinguish the progression of the writer’s thoughts and helps them mentally absorb the smaller blocks of text one at a time. Writers can structure the length of their paragraphs how they please. However, I recommend keeping the length of the paragraph equal to how long a reader’s attention span would likely be sustained. All paragraphs should have a different focus or meaning, from the preceding and subsequent paragraphs. If you have sentences that don’t move onto a new topic, but add to the point of the paragraph, I recommend connecting them to strengthen it. That’s not to say that every sentence will add something of value to a paragraph, as in some cases cutting out unnecessary or repetitive constructions may be advised.

First paragraph of a new chapter or scene is set full-out to the left-hand margin, as in this sentence.
New paragraph is indented, at an acceptable size, as in this sentence.

2. New paragraph for new character dialogue

When another person is speaking in a conversation, it is standard convention to start a new paragraph to indicate to the reader that the person speaking is not the same person as the original speaker.

Original speaker: ‘Isn’t it a nice day today?’
New speaker: ‘Yes, the flowers are in bloom.’

This also helps differentiate who is speaking at any given moment in time, which can get confusing if the same person speaks again after they have already spoken. In this case, do not add an ending quotation mark after the first sentence spoken, as indicated below. This tells the reader that the same person is still speaking. Only add the ending quotation mark after the original speaker has finished speaking and somebody else speaks or the narrative continues.

Original speaker: ‘I hate being at his beck and call all day.
Original speaker: ‘He doesn’t even appreciate the work I do.’

3. Scene breaks to separate periods of time, character point of view, or change in circumstances of an event

Chapters can sometimes reach great lengths, where events occur at different times and from the point of view of different characters. Without an effective break or distinction between these point of views or different times, the reader has to mentally digest a jumble of unorganised information concerning exactly what main event is happening, who it is being perceived by, and when it is occurring. When the reader returns to reading your story they could be lost.

Using scene breaks is a helpful way to organise the structure of your chapter so that it is clear, logical, and easy-to-follow for readers. But just how do you decide where to start a scene break in your chapter? It requires judgement, your editor’s or your own, and perhaps even friends can help you.


I like to add my scene breaks in when it is apparent that a period of time has passed from one set of paragraphs to another. Indeed, a scene may be considered to be a set of paragraphs following on smoothly from one to the next.

Point of view

Has the character whose point of view is important in a particular scene changed? Modern fiction recommends one character’s point of view per scene, and usually in the third-person (he, him, his, she, her, hers, they, them, theirs). There should be a good reason for a change in point of view, for example perhaps you’re trying to show the reader something new or interesting in your scene and you need another character’s perspective, or maybe you simply have more than one main character and their combined point of views are used to build the overall scene.


Are you now focusing on a different, yet related, event or set of circumstances in your chapter? Consider adding a scene break to separate your events. Too many events in a short space of time can be overwhelming, so it’s important to provide the necessary breaks. It can also help you focus on what is important in your scenes and chapters.

Mamluk by James Jackson – 5/5 Stars

Mamluk Emergence by James Jackson

The story of Mamluk is the story of a prototype reptilian soldier stranded on a primitive planet, fighting for survival and learning and using every device at his disposal to launch back towards the safety of the Protectorate empire that created him; a ruthless expanding empire that sends in enhanced soldiers to wipe out indigenous species in expectation of a second wave of colonisation. Along the way Mamluk will witness the growth of a civilisation, make many enemies, and even find what it means to have friendship and mutual respect.

The most compelling aspect was the friendship between Mamluk and a feline predator he names Madcat, especially when they are threatened by groups of savage tribal people that makes you wonder who the real predators are. Through stages of civilisation, in which technology ever increases, Mamluk and Madcat must work together to survive and protect their territory; which starts as a familiar cave but expands at a nice pace to encompass a lava tube, valley, forest, etc. The second half of the story complements the first well, filling it with emotion and purpose and adding significance to the main struggles Mamluk had faced and the people whose lives he touched. In this way there were potent messages in this story, of the impact of individual actions and how they shape the future in terms of war, monuments, and records.

Author James Jackson’s use of the first-person present tense gave him a platform for connecting scenes together with immediacy, thrill, and visual clarity. It enabled him to build Mamluk’s situation without interfering with other plotlines. What suggestions I have for improvement are minor. I’d have liked to learn more about the periods on the planet, or involve more complexities between Mamluk and the main people he comes across; mostly those referred to later on. I didn’t think any more depth needed to be added to the people, beasts, or the environment. The simplicity of the descriptions was why many chapters worked so well in connecting the rest of the plot into a cohesive and comprehensible whole. I did occasionally feel as if there was a bit too much fighting, but I gradually came to accept this made sense as Mamluk’s genetics, training, and his way of dealing with problems; which were abundant because he looked like a monster to the locals. An extra scene break or two might not have gone amiss; it would have disrupted the flow in some chapters; but would have given that extra breathing room between fighting in others.

Mamluk is a concise and well-structured novella that doesn’t try to be too clever by introducing events on a grand scale, instead presenting them in a relatable way through the immediate action Mamluk faces. This is quite despite the fact that author James Jackson has thought a lot about his world-building. For example, in reference to an expanding empire: ‘numerous space-factories churn out a steady stream of defence platforms to fill gaps in the grid as it expands’, shows that he has thought about solutions to his creation. Mamluk is a thoughtful novella that makes you think about what’s really important on a world that appears cruel, barbaric, and yet familiar. The setting surprised me with its familiarity to a medieval fantasy, but thankfully it only dips into the similarities enough to make the second half of the story plausible. Yes, you really need to read the second half to get the full benefit. I’d say Mamluk was a tidy novella overall, with all the elements in their allotted place; a feat I can imagine to be quite difficult for the average author. Supposedly advanced technology wasn’t so much explained, as it was delivered in terms that are well known to most avid genre readers, which made reading effortless. Make no mistake though that it’s quite clear throughout that you’re reading a science-fiction story. With Mamluk, I think James Jackson’s writing has made an impression on me, and has given me confidence he can craft engaging stories with vision, balance, and brevity. I have a newfound appreciation for his writing and hope he continues to think, write, and share his creations!

James Jackson’s website

The Invisible Man by HG Wells – 5/5 Stars

The Invisible Man by HG Wells

My third HG Well’s novel read and I’ve started to notice that he often has a main character on the run from something: mustering violence to protect against innumerable or unfathomable enemies, facing starvation through the quaint English countryside, and then having to make use of reason to make sense of the extremely improbable. Humorously, most of the sub-characters aren’t on the run as such, but are so highly panicked and foolish that it makes the heroic main characters look calm and collected by comparison. The sub-characters engage in gossip, wild speculation, and this drives their collective fury to such a level as to make all hell break loose on the roads. It doesn’t require a close examination to deduce that when reading HG Well’s novels, we are reading about a fragile society that is faced with what to them is an impossible occurrence: an invisible man!

Did this make me sympathise with the glut of people? Not really, for their (at first) baseless rumours convinced me that they did not need an invisible man to “appear” to startle them and provoke them into collective insanity. When the invisible man is “revealed” to them, the level of panic and outrage is turned up a notch, perhaps understandably, but it was difficult for most to see reason or think how there could be an invisible man; most were not enquiring minds. Kemp, introduced quite late in the novel, has an enquiring mind and scientific background. An educated man, if you will. Kemp sees those running away from an “invisible man” down the hill outside his window as classic fools, in the absence of evidence.

As for the invisible man himself, during the early few chapters I sympathised with him greatly, wrapped up as he was in bandages to conceal his affliction. He only wanted privacy from questions, but his odd garments and need to seclude himself naturally led to idle gossip and then break in’s and direct questions. It was easy to forgive the invisible man’s cruelty at this stage. The reader soon sees how infuriating it really is to be invisible in the 19th century: good for the element of surprise and disappearing but not ideal for survival in human towns and villages.

The Invisible Man is an intriguing tale, wound well with originality stemming from its main concept. Everywhere he went, he caused trouble and alarm. Though there was a touch too much background into how the invisible man arrived where he did, we got to learn how he made himself invisible and of his tribulations before the commencement of the novel. It was as much about how flawed Griffin (the invisible man) was; how his strengths made him a terror and how his weaknesses escalated the hunt against him; as about the novelty of being invisible. This is a stunning novel, with writing that flows so well it seems to swim pleasantly in the mind. Highly recommended!

The Unlucky Man by HTG Hedges – 4/5 Stars

The Unlucky Man by HTG Hedges

I don’t know what my expectations were for The Unlucky Man – I was looking for something dystopian, dark, and that I hadn’t read before – and believe it or not that’s what I got! I’d classify it as an urban dystopian fantasy with supernatural and thriller elements. Ultimately, it’s about ordinary man John Hesker who is talking with best friend Corg when a body smashes on top of their car. They’re questioned by an investigator called Whimsy, who is a man only half-interested in what they are saying and seems to ask his questions ‘on a whim’, so he was well-named. However, it’s not long before the dark elusive organisation called Control will send its most accomplished assassin Wychelo (like a witch with dark unnerving pools for eyes) to kill Jon and therefore hide its secrets. When a disturbing supernatural force is injected into Jon, he goes on the run, over Old Links bridge where there is no law and only savagery awaits.

Well, HTG Hedges has an eye for atmosphere and setting, which places the reader into a three-dimensional world that brought clarity and richness to every description of setting, and was applied consistently throughout. I’d say this was the best feature of his writing, and made me feel as if I was reading something new or rare. The writing from 76% captured me fully, immersing me into complete disorientation, which was the intention, into a graphic hell that was also somewhat pleasant on the senses to witness.

Criticism: it took me a while to remember who the villains were, especially their names and what distinguished them, because they had small parts and mainly from the point-of-view of Jon. Closer to the end there was a touch too much background information on the villains, which though missing before to add mystery, was inserted a little late in this relatively short novel. Third-person omniscient was used to re-shine a light on the villains at 67%, which though I worried the plot was crumbling at this point it did actually put things back into perspective where they had been missing in the car-chases and well-directed action scenes. Third-person and first-person point-of-view was mingled, which lent the story inconsistency and did become more noticeable as it progressed. On that same note, the author was adept at using first-person to add depth, colour, and contrast that I haven’t seen before when reading from first-person POV, but his use of third-person omniscient from 76% was a display of incredible writing. It seems the author needs to decide on where his strengths lie and how to use point-of-view with consistency to deliver maximum impact. I would have enjoyed this more if it was better balanced as well: two-thirds action and one-third background/conclusion didn’t move events forward in a way that I had hoped.

Overall, I don’t think HTG Hedges’ readers will be disappointed by his writing. The atmospheric descriptions, combined with metaphor, worked consistently well throughout. I was often curious where the plot was going, and when things turned chaotic I was utterly absorbed, with mouth agape. Piecing together the sub-elements of the plot didn’t come immediately to me, but when parts did they made sense and piqued my interest. There’s some terrific writing in this.

HTG Hedges’ Website

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins – 3/5 Stars

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

The Hunger Games is a controversial young adult dystopian novel that is a highly competitive death-dealing game, and a fight for survival. I couldn’t watch the film – there wasn’t enough to grab my attention – but the book was bought as a gift and was the only dystopian one on my shelf. As a result, I didn’t begin reading with much expectation that I would take to the novel: I’m not a fan of the young adult genre in general, with some exceptions.

The novel had quite a potent political message, especially early on. It illustrates simply and yet strongly how inequality can lead to resentment between the starving and the better-off, even if both groups know better on a full stomach. It’s a clever ploy of the Capitol’s system to divide the people so that their hold on power is relatively undisrupted. The Capitol uses official excuses for those who have starved to death, burying their guilt and complicity at ridding many of the districts of their inhabitants. The population are not fooled, but what can they do to act against the Capitol when the Treaty of Treason is an intimidating warning to those who would oppose them, in the form of a reminder that past uprisings have bitterly failed. It’s at this point the reader must wonder how accurate this history is, and if it is, why do the Capitol need to remind the districts not to rebel if there weren’t weaknesses?

Let’s start with the positive. There were more than a few lengthy passages that sustained my interest, mostly between Katniss and Peeta’s struggle to understand and trust each other before they entered the Hunger Games as the two Tributes representing District 12. The battle for survival in the arena started off very well, capturing my interest and impressing upon me the severity of Katniss’ predicament. The conclusion as well, was well written, emotionally tense, and with enough peril to make it impressive. First-person point-of-view worked well at intervals, bringing Katniss’ personality, likes, and dislikes to the fore and engaging the reader.

Katniss’ voice did bother me, rendering her emotionally numb to any related or past events. This is where first-person point-of-view didn’t work well, and the switches were occasionally noticeable. Katniss and Peeta’s mostly passive and tolerant attitude to following rules irritated me. I know why they did it – to protect their families – but it almost seemed to justify the need for a sycophantic totalitarian regime, bloated by wealth and superficiality. It made the characters sick, and it made me feel sick, but the characters still went along with it more often that I would have liked. I’m obviously only commenting as a reader/observer here and not a participant in the Hunger Games; maybe that would make a difference to my opinions.

Katniss’s boundaries were pushed once or twice, causing her to act in rebellion, but her actions only really made a difference where it concerned the Capitol’s perception of her and to me reinforced the idea that if you have enough talent you can become popular enough that it doesn’t matter that most districts are starved and oppressed. The bottom line is that Katniss and Peeta were absolutely helpless, and had to do as they were told. I didn’t think this philosophy did much to encourage young adults in life, even if the suspense and gory deaths were appealing to some.

Suzanne Collins’ Website

Welcome to Alex James’ Blog

Alex JamesHere on my blog you will find advice on best practice for editors and writers, as I share my growing wisdom to help literary professionals tackle those pesky problems that crop up time and again. Why? Because as a reader, I have seen novels after they have been published; and have come across many areas of improvement for writers, publishers, and perhaps editors too. If there is one thing that writers hate, it’s going back to previously published works and thinking ‘I could have done better’. And poor reviews can hit a publisher’s reputation as hard as a writer’s.

Most of my posts will have a focus on my speciality – sci-fi/fantasy writing and editing – but I will occasionally dip into the realm of being an editor/proofreader. You will often see my reviews posted on this blog, of sci-fi and fantasy stories written by independent authors or published by independent/traditional publishers. I’m passionate about my reviews, and I learn something new about the genre after every successive book read, and I thought it’d be nice to share books, authors, and admittedly my own analysis.

I soon hope to share more details about how I got started in editing and proofreading, as a way of introducing myself to the world.